One gets to hear throughtout his/her life, that after you die, either Heaven or Hell is your next Lodging (depending on how one leads his/her life). But the family in which i grew up, always used to tell me that there is a place which is a true replica of heaven on Earth.
I wondered all through my childhood which place exactly that would be and then one fine day i got the answer- My Hometown- 'KASHMIR'.
i came to Delhi when i was an infant, have spent my whole life till now in Delhi and in one sense you can call me a Delhite!!! i am a true one, as a matter of fact.
When i was a kid and people used to call me a kashmiri, i used to get paranoid to some extent. Kashmir has always been an issue for our country. Issue of fights,terrorism, Curfews, Imbalance, Troubles and more Troubles. i never wanted to be known as a part of such chaotic state. i used to feel ashamed of the fact that i am a kashmiri. And trust me my whole teen-age went away with this hatred.
Then one fine day, my father asked me, whether i would like to see my home in kashmir (which by the way is not ours anymore), i just had this urge to do it and i said yes. and that was the day when it all started.
we went to Kashmir by road. It was damn tiring and i was cursing myself for coming to this 'good for nothing' place. As i was fuming with anger, my father pulled over and asked me to come out and bring the camera.
like an obedient daughter i came out and was stunned for a moment!!!! That was the place which is famously called "first view of kashmir"......i could see mountains covered with ice, huge meadows, greenery and more greenery all around me....i just could not blink my eyes at that time... i did not want to.....
As we moved on, i saw fields of 'kesar' all through the way on both sides of highway. loads and loads of greenery, apple trees, people clad in typical kashmiri dress that i had only seen in movies or in magzines!!
i don't know why, but inspite of hating that place all through my life, that day i was admiring it from the deepest core of my heart!!!!
the next 3 days were planned for sight -seeing...we went to 'kheer bhawani temple, Sonmar, Gulmarg, etc...as we were moving along, we used to pull over at regular intervals and relish the view again and agian...and guess what.. this was my special request to dad.....
The best part of the trip was the ride on a boat at Dal-lake......AMAZING!!! cool wind blowing on your face, huge mountains encircling you, Shankracharya temple right at the top, Char-Chinar right in the middle of Dal Lake....truly a Delight for Your eyes...
And how can i forget Shalimar Bagh and Nishad Bagh!!! Huge gardens full of flowers....every single colour u can ever imagine is right there to 'trea't ur eyes!!! the spring water of Chashm-e-shahi which is as pure and divine as Ganga Jal!!! And not to forget the Mindblowing Kashmiri Cuisine that we all relished for 1 week...gaaawddd it was MOUTH WATERING and DELICIOUS!!!
Then one day sudden trip to Pehalgam!!!! i dont know whether it was God's trick to captivate me with the beauty of this place or what, but it started raining that day... and by the time we reached Pehalgam, that place was all cloudy and Chilly and Serene!!!....the clouds were actually there at the level on which we were driving....that moment i wished deep deep down inside my heart, if something could stop the time, right here, right now!!!!
as we were returning from Pehalgam my father told me that the purpose of the trip is yet to be completed...Visit Our House In Srinagar!!!! I was so excited to be there... i had always heard that the house was so big, magnificient, it had two huge lawns and even the bathrooms were of the size of a decent bedroom of delhi flats... i just could not wait to see it!!
As i entered my House, i was awe-struck....i was stunned to see that place. Whatever my parents had told me about the house was actually true...it was exactly the same they had described...4-storey house, 2 big lawns, amazing wooden craftmanship on the walls and ceillings......i was spellbound...absolutely.......
Then my father took me to my room...although i was an infant when we left that place, but i don't know why, as soon as i stepped in, i could feel some connection....i had this sense of belongingness...the sense of being an eternal part of something....
As we moved out of the house, my father met some of his old neighbours....as he was talking to them, i just looked around towards my house and the whole last week got recaped in my mind.....that moment i became a 'kashmiri'. . . .That moment i realized what a fool i have been all through my life by disowning my own identity and by being something that i m not...it was a sense of realization and it felt as if i m supposed to be a part of this...i have to be...there is nothing else that i can be or could have been, ever.....as i turned back to the car, my eyes filled up with tears......tears of ignorance, tears of happiness, tears of almost having lost something so precious that cannot be explained in words.......
That was the day, when i came face to face with my own self, the person who i really am, the values i have been taught, the culture which i should have treasured.....That day a True Kashmiri in me was born.....
And as we were moving out of kashmir, a voice in my heart kept saying......This is Kashmir, My Kashmir, Heaven on Earth........MY HEAVEN ON EARTH.......
